short funny affirmations short funny affirmations

I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. Not sure who to credit this meme to, but kudos. I keep moving forward even if my pants come off. 21. Today, I am thankful for this week. 213. Well, I guess I have to be odd to be number one. Today, I acknowledge the time I have spent over the week. I hope you enjoyed this article on funny affirmations! 250. 2. 28. Flip Wilson, 263. No matter how bad it gets, Im always rich when I go to the dollar store. Theres no stopping me now. Funny Friday Quotes. Why was six scared of seven? You dont have to be crazy to be my friend, but it helps. Car Dealership: The best way to get back on your feet, miss a car payment. Dave Barry. 9. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wifes mother. I can believe in myself for 5 minutes. If you enjoyed reading these funny positive affirmations, make sure to bookmark this page for future reference, and share your favorite affirmations with your friends and family. IRS: Weve got what it takes to take what you have got. "If you see me talking to myself. I am finding fun and joy in everything I do and everywhere I go. 92. Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once. An apple a day keeps anyone a way, if you throw it hard enough. Cry a river. I said yes, which turned out to be the right answer. 26. 105. 135. 162. 52. My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldnt walk to the donut shop. If we shouldnt eat at night, why is there a light in the fridge? Similar to how it's important to minimize distractions in the workplace, you need a few minutes of peace to focus and mindfully say your affirmations. 3. My boss is like a baby, screams and wakes me up every half hour. 224. Use them throughout the day whenever you experience negative thoughts. 1. Send me the link. A bargain is something you dont need at a price you cant resist. I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. Whenever I clean my closet I take a GPS with me, so I can find my way back. Im not here to judge, Im just pointing out all the mistakes youre making. I am at peace with my body and accept it as it is. Giving up on myself because of one setback is like slashing my other three tires because one is flat., 10. Making everyone angry, piece of cake. Wouldnt exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them? 43. Helen Giangregorio Doing nothing is hard, you never know when youre done. When our phones fall, we panic; but when our friends fall, we laugh. Give me a photo of you so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas. 88. If you want your children to listen, try talking softly to someone else. Because they make up everything. 59. Its called tomorrow. 3. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. Granted, it can be challenging to write affirmations, especially if you havent done it before. 211. We'll get to that later. Yes, of course, I am athletic, I surf the Internet every day. Relaxing the mind with some funny affirmations is an easy way to reduce stress and keep yourself grounded in moments of turmoil. 75. "It's going to be hard, but hard does not mean impossible.". Dont forget to check out our post onlove yourself quotesandvision board quotesto attract positivity in your life. But a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt. Im a work in progress without a completion date., See also: 120 Ultimate Best Quotes About Progress To Fuel Your Growth. 96. It may look like Im doing nothing, but in my head, Im quite busy. Im sorry, but thats just the way I am. Im lovely because everyone likes me more than Monday morning!, 7. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? If you cant laugh at your own problems, call me and Ill laugh at them. 47. Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math. 205. 163. Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be miserable., 7. 229. I will be the type of person I would like my children to become. IRS: Weve got what it takes to take what you have got. Paul Ehrlich, 241. 169. 261. I said no to drugs, but they just wouldnt listen. Pardon me, I have 6 pounds of boneless mass to get rid of. When nothing is going right, go left. 4. But sometimes affirmations may not work. 13. You cant have everything, where would you put it? Im laughing at the confusion and smiling through the tears. We have a connection. "Once you choose hope, anything's possible.". If Im not there, I go to work. Robert Orben, 4. I am sorry not everyone will have the pleasure of knowing me. Laughter can help you see the humor in otherwise grim situations. 44. Whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? 49. I always find something funny in every situation. I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle. To thrive in life you need three bones. Henny Youngman Always remember youre unique, just like everyone else. 170. Snowballs. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot. Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth., 9. Papercut: A trees final moment of revenge. If you have crazy friends you have everything youll ever need. If at first, you dont succeed, so much for skydiving. "Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.". I wish my wallet came with free refills. I will smile while I still have my teeth. You never know what you have, until you clean your closet. My funny vibes attract my happy tribe. My mind is becoming much sharper. I dont need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry. 126. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. I make people laugh, whether its with me or at me. Bill Murray 231. 158. Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. Today, I laughed until my abs started hurting, so I can skip the gym. No matter how bad it gets Im always rich when I go to the dollar store. Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. One thing you need to remember though; if you are going to be funny, then make sure youre actually funny. Sometimes these surprises are way too spectacular and sometimes way too tragic. health is important. My goal this weekend is to move, just enough so people dont think Im dead. 218. 64. Since not all of us are blessed with the ability to throw a joke the right way, we thought of helping you out by giving you these ridiculously short funny quotes. My liver still works. Every day, read them aloud for the best results. 169. 182. What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed? 65. 164. 145. Theres life without Facebook and internet? 1. If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? Discover short videos related to funny affirmations on TikTok. 12. Chris Rock Whenever I am sad I go to my favorite place, the fridge. 44. Effective pushing often involves poop. Boost your ego and narcissism in as little as 5 minutes per day and set yourself up for success. If I am willing to go back to bed when I wake up, I will go and make up the bed. 129. 254. If you dont succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. 1. Every day is a gift, thats why they call it the present. It has features that are distinctive and make me who I am. What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Send me the link. 113. I am awesome. I am here not to compete because I know I am neither the fastest nor the smartest. Life is filled with highs and lows, stress and anxiety, so sometimes some funny and positive words will help you lighten up on an encouraging note. "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.". I said no to drugs, but they just wouldnt listen. 34. Since not all of us are blessed with the ability to throw a joke the right way, we thought of helping you out by giving you these ridiculously short funny quotes. Ill start this journey with my 10 favorite funny affirmations that never fail to make me laugh. My body deserves love. 1. Relationships these days start by pressing LIKE on her photo. Ive been doing nothing for years. I understand success cant happen overnight. P.D. 267. Heres a list of important things to consider: Choosing the perfect affirmation from our list isnt much different. I never apologize. Raimonda.B. "I am becoming humorous day by day.". Making everyone angry, piece of cake. 171. Honolulu, its got everything. Whatever I do, I will do it for fun, but with dedication and focus. 102. 256. I will tell the negative voice inside my head to shut up. If you want to catch a squirrel just climb a tree and act like a nut. 209. It doesn't make sense to dwell on things you can't do anything about. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good. 2. Bill Murray. Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener. Rodney Dangerfield, 198. Heres a giant list of funny affirmations to help you relax your mind with a little humor when youre stressed. It was created to do amazing things. 8. I am naturally cool, calm, and collected. You can also share them with your co-workers to put a smile on their faces. Im sorry that Im not updating my Facebook status, my cat ate my mouse. (John 14:27) 27. It just plain forms. "Don't let anyone ever dull your . 207. 57. 128. Cell phones these days keep getting thinner and smarter; people the opposite. Using humor can help you bridge the gap and empower you to believe in affirmations and their outcome. Im describing you. Over time, when you use these affirmations, your mind begins to equate new words with weight loss. People say you cant live without love, but I think oxygen is more important. I am passing all the things and hardships with a smile. My goal this weekend is to move, just enough so people dont think Im dead. 159. But you can always be immature. 80. 91. Looking for positive funny affirmations? 173. Bill Murray 71. 217. Take a dose of encouragement from your positive affirmations whenever youre feeling down. If you steal from one author, its plagiarism; if you steal from many, its research. I can believe in myself for 5 minutes., 2. I can do this. Sincerely, yourself. You may have people laugh at you instead of with you. 104. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat. I wasnt mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if Im mad.. yes, Im mad! "May your yoga pants be stretchy, your coffee be strong and your Wednesday be short.". A quote to live by for when life gets bitter. 142. Remember, What consumes your mind, controls your life., 7. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.'. Robert A. Heinlein, 243. I am the sunshine even when its gloomy outside. The older I get, the more I start ignoring my friends. Every one of my colleagues brings happiness into the office. Im in desperate need of a 6-month vacation, twice a year. With time, I have started to value more time. I dont need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning. Give your body time to absorb the positivity and let go of negative thoughts. Absorb these 41 positive quotes and positive affirmations and start feeling positive now! Remember, no one can make you feel anything other than what YOU allow yourself. Happiness is a choice. If everyone knew what I was thinking, I would get punched in the face a lot. 53. 86. 89. 168. The following is the list of some humorous affirmations for you: I am doing all the amazing things because I am an amazing human being. 249. Effective pushing often involves poop. I hope you have a ridiculously amazing day. 140. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Even if youre a skeptic, you must admit these funny affirmations really work. I am thankful for all those difficult people in my life. 155. 97. If the funny affirmations that Ive put together dont break your cool, then feel free to throw on a comedy special on Netflix or Youtube when you feel stressed. 15. Excuse me while I go on a ride on the porcelain steamer. But a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt. Funny affirmations youll find here will boost your confidence and make you laugh. 277. 236. What is Mozart doing right now? These kinds of things just come with the territory if youre trying to live a meaningful life. A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand. 115. I get up, dress up, and show up. Short Positive Daily Affirmations. 184. When, in fact, we must be optimistic and supportive of ourselves. 78. As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round. Gary Delaney, 248. I make people laugh, whether its with me or at me., 8. Positive Affirmations And Inspiring Quotes About Life Life is filled with highs and lows, sometimes, we need some inspirational quotes to help us overcome challenges of life and offer guidance to us. 255. 206. 8. 101. My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. 2. 236. Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain. It has many of the same goals as affirmations, as theyre both associated with positivity and happiness. We frequently doubt ourselves. can help you become successful in whatever you choose to do in life. I should have theme music every time I enter a room. I am lazier after accomplishing the motive. Wonderwoman: single. These funny ideas are smart and a bit sarcastic and will bring a smile to your face. Nobody gets out alive anyway. no rich foods. happy. Emphasis on the cool. Hence, avoid using past or future tenses. Cindy from Marzahn. 148. The only power you have is the word no. I intend to live forever. Shoot for the moon.